If there is one thing that we treat as being completely sacred in our house, it is the family meal.  Any electronic gadgets within sight—including iPods, computers, radios, the television— get a rest when dinner is served. Selfishly the next hour becomes our time—a period when we look our kids in the eyes, ask them about their day, listen to them expound upon what they have learned or discovered, maybe perhaps what’s bugging them, in an attempt to stay engaged in their lives. 

Hanging above the kitchen table are works of art they’ve made; they’re a visual fixture, those modest pieces, part of the welcoming ambience.  Down a hallway is more art.  But what we value most is the spoken word. 

Laurie David, in her excellent new book, The Family Dinner, shows herself to once again be ahead of the times by astutely recognizing the power of the kitchen table as a platform for engendering true family values—not the kind preached to us by politicos with a hidden agenda in mind. 

Where did the fracturing of modern American society begin to take hold?  It started when we no longer made the effort to share a meal.




Agree with David or not, but one cannot dispute that she’s been a tour de force in American culture in ways that may not, as yet, be obvious.  Over the last decade, she, with true grit and will, decided that climate change needed to become part of the inter-generational dialogue Americans were having; that the reality of what a warming planet means for kids and grandkids in the decades ahead needed to move beyond the obtuse sphere of scientific journals.  

How did David act on her concern?  Along with filmmaker Davis Guggenheim, she was a catalyst behind the Academy-Award winning documentary, An Inconvenient Truth that featured the lectures delivered on climate science by former Vice President Al Gore.  From there, David organized a virtual march on Washington, D.C. that attracted 1.3 million signees calling upon Congress and The White House to take a serious look at the actual body of peer-reviewed research and adopt policies to try and minimize the worst effects warming by agreeing to lower carbon emissions.  

She also used her connections in the entertainment industry to have daytime soap operas include scripts that incorporated references to climate change in the story lines, she made a documentary about climate change for HBO, she recruited an incredible lineup of musicians and public figures to speak out, she got together with professional sports team owners, convincing them to  run their stadiums with better energy efficiency; brought members of NASCAR on board, and reached across the aisle, summoning together Fortune 500 CEOs, Senator John McCain, philanthropists like Ted Turner and environmental activist Bobby Kennedy, Jr.

What she discovered along the way is that America has lost its civility.  Not only is everyone yelling at each other, but we're not doing a good job of listening.  And we're setting a bad example for our kids.

America is suffering from pandemics of obesity and diabetes, attention deficit disorders in stressed-out young people, varieties of anti-social behavior, disconnection from the natural world, and lack of statesmanship in our politics.  It isn’t a stretch to say that antidotes can begin at home.  Dinner may be the most important hour of the day.

David asked a range of people and tight-knit families, including the Kennedy clan, what they did to make dinner one of the highlights of their day.  It's fascinating stuff.  Dinner is the perfect venue, too, for discussing where food on the table comes from and how the choices we make have implications for our land, water, and air. The Family Dinner wasn't written to cause guilt trips;  it actually celebrates locally-grown food, the mom and pop ranchers and farmers at the edge of town, and those who take pride in providing alternatives to processed meals.  There are even some great recipes.

In addition to being fearless, David doesn’t dodge tough questions.  Formerly married to Larry David, co-creator of the popular sitcom, Seinfeld, she notes in her new book how family time, when centered around the kitchen table, serves as a critical point of emotional grounding for kids whose parents are going through divorce.  It represents a place of safety and nurturing and yes, a place of imparting real family values. 

Over the years, I have met countless artist friends who have told me their interest, as children, in the arts of all kind was fostered at dinner time by supportive parents, family artist friends who were invited over for a meal, and in discussions that promoted creativity.  The Kennedys recited poetry, discussed books they were reading, prepared short orations on people who made contributions to the world.  Studies show that kids who know how to express themselves in words and possess acumen in visual media often become better free-thinking leaders. 

More than anything, what The Family Dinner does is it advances ideas for making supper time fun and if you want to have a connection with your kids and grandkids that endures, this is the best place to start.